Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Who is in Charge of the Internet?

It seems like everyone wants to take credit for creating the Internet- Al Gore, Obama, the government, Bill Gates, the Chinese, Kanye. 
OK, I made some of those up.

But no one wants to take responsiblity for the mess.

Kind of like on an episode of Maury. "Yeah, I slept with that bitch. I take full credit for tappin that ass. Say what? Hell naw that ain't my kid. No way. I ain't taking responsibility for that shit. Deuces."

The internet is such a mess. And by mess, I mean gigantic clusterfuck. And by gigantic clusterfuck, I mean mega-atomic clusterfuck.

I'm somewhat technologically savvy. I can find Scooby Doo on demand for devil baby. I can upload pictures from my iPhone to Facebook. I can dial a rotary phone like nobody's business. I got mad skills.

I've got the whole Facebook thing pretty much down, until they change the format and privacy settings, then it's back to square one- but it's manageable.

So I get online to figure out how this Twitter shit works. I've been pretty much avoiding it since I heard a lot of people were having public arguments and I didn't want to accidentally piss someone off because I'm non-confrontational.


That's my biggest fear. Heated public arguments. Well, that and dance-offs.


I was trying to find out more info on the whole Bloggess/Wil Wheaton story and the search brought me to Twitter because they tweet each other (and I wanted in on that shit, because I'm nosy like that) and then it told me I had to log in to follow and I clicked log in and it said "forbidden." 



HOLY SHIT, I broke the Twitter! 

Or I have been banned? What the fuck? I've never been on there. They must know I'm not cool enough to be on there.

In the interest of full disclosure, you should know that I also may have been confusing Wil Wheaton with Joss Whedon, the creator of Firefly, which I LOVE (nerd alert) that stars Nathan Fillion, who I love more. 

So I was looking for the inside scoop and possible insight into his whereabouts when I found this, which was awesome and made me feel less stupid about my plan to stalk Nathan Fillion via Wil Wheaton, who I thought was Joss Whedon. 


And never you mind why I didn't just follow Nathan Fillion directly on Twitter. I have a process, people.

Also, it turns out Wil Wheaton is interesting and apparently he played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation which I used to watch, but enough about my lameocity. 

The point is, anytime you look for a how-to article or tutorial there are a million different ones to choose from and many are incorrect or outdated and there are also a lot of abandoned sites and broken links.

Just.A.Motherfucking.Nightmare.

So I'm not in favor of a policing entity online or anything, you know, free speech and all, but maybe just some kind of quality control division that tells site owners: 

"This site is outdated. Please take it down or update it. Contrary to your instructions, to tweet you must now use ¥ instead of # and € instead of @. Also you must do this while standing on your head. And you must do a tequila shot when someone says trending. And trending is being replaced by vogueing. And by the time you finish reading this, all aforementioned changes will be null and void."

But seriously, can someone please clean up the clutter? Help a sister out with the correct information on how-to sites and make better tutorials on technology for dummies..err the somewhat savvy.


Also, you may have noticed that I learned how to link other pages to my blog.


I figured that shit out on my own...
So suck it, Internet.


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