Wednesday, August 28, 2013

In Defense of Miley at the VMA's

Because who the fuck cares? 

Really. Do you really have time to care? The internets and Facebook are all in a tizzy over this? You're shocked a young, overpaid celebrity put on a horrible, scandalous performance?

Oops she did it again.

Have you forgotten about Brittney spears showcasing her vagina to the world? Or Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton's vials of blood around their necks? Or Hugh Grant's arrest for soliciting a hooker? Or Governor Schwarzenegger knocking up his housekeeper and having a love child? And... do I really need to go on? Everyone is stupid and most celebrities are no exception.

Aw shucks.
The world is a vampire.

Full disclosure- I haven't seen the whole performance. Who has time to watch that crap? I have seen images and memes and blog posts and letters to daughters and scathing reviews of the alleged atrocity. And yes, I agree, it looked horrific. I don't know what compelled her to act that way.

But what do I know is this- isn't it a celebrity's or entertainer's job to shock and awe and get publicity? You know the old saying, "There's no such thing as bad publicity." And if you disagree, that's fine- but the point is everyone is talking about this and making a big deal out of it. If you don't want your kids to act that way, why are you talking about it and letting them see it or making them want to see it? Why give them any ideas? They hear everyone talking about it, and they see all the attention it's getting, and next thing you know they're in their bedroom with your favorite sports team's foam finger doing unmentionable things and your football watching season is officially ruined.  

Some want to blame Miley's parents. Yes, and we all know it is just as easy to stop a maniacal toddler from having a full blown meltdown in the middle of Walmart as it is to control a 20 year old former regimented Disney star, with millions of dollars at her disposal, who lives on her own, to do what we deem appropriate. And if you had been forced to sing cheesy teenie-bopper songs in a horrendous bleach blonde wig for years, you might be up on stage freaking the fuck out with her.

And where are the people freaking out about Robin Thicke? Wasn't he the one humping the young lady from behind? And was his song about fairy tale romance and chastity or about "you know you want it" and "you the hottest bitch in this place?" Don't get me wrong, that's my jam. No pun intended. But seriously- hypocritical much? And what is so bad about her being on Robin Thicke's jock anyway? He is an attractive and successful man. She could do much worse than Robin Thicke's wiener.  

It was a show. A performance. It was stupid and ugly and ridonk. But you watched it. And you talked about it. And you shared blog posts and letters from parents to their kids online about it.

At the end of the day, I'm not saying what she did was great or appropriate. I'm saying who the fuck cares. It got so much media hype that it sounds like more of an evil genius plan than a desperate skank vying for people's attention to me. So whatever to the whole thing... I don't care. I'm less Team Miley and more pro Robin Thicke's wiener anyway.  

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