Monday, August 19, 2013

Racist Road Trip

This summer we took a road trip to visit family in various states. Actually, it was a planes, trains and automobiles type of road trip, minus the trains and add a shuttle bus around a resort complex.

There were a few interesting things that highlighted our trip proving racism is alive and well in the good 'ole U S of A. And by highlight I don't mean it was on a positive note, it just punctuated the fact that racism exists and everyone is stupid.

Our first encounter was driving through McAlester, Oklahoma en route to the Branson, Missouri area. There was a small motel with a sign out front that read "American Owned and Operated." What the actual fuck? How is this racist? I'll tell you. Why would we care if it was American owned and operated unless there are people that take issue with motels not being American owned and operated. And if they aren't American owned, who are they owned and operated by? So now we must wonder and worry who is owning these local motels and why should we be concerned they aren't American owned.

So what did it mean? An initial thought was that we were driving through an area with a lot of casinos and Native American nations. Surely this sign was not in reference to Native American owned businesses, because who is more motherfucking American than a god damned NATIVE AMERICAN?! Or was it in reference to any other ethnicity who owned businesses in the area? Why should it matter who owns the motel as long as it is clean, comfortable, and they have good customer service. Free wifi and vodka would be a plus, but I'll settle for clean and friendly any day over some chubby, cigarette smoking white man in a wife beater asking me if I need turn-down service. 

Next on our agenda was driving through the highways of Missouri headed to the St. Louis airport where we would catch a plane to visit family in Chicago. As we were enjoying our customary road trip beef jerky and nuts (that's what she said) I read a billboard that said "Man + Woman = Marriage." Yes, I know this isn't quite racist, but it is derogatory to a group of people nonetheless. It led me to wonder who footed the bill for this propaganda? Was it a church or a bored homophobe with deep pockets? If it was a church, couldn't this money have been better spent feeding a few homeless people, ya know, like how Jesus used to (allegedly) do? Because I'm sure everyone who read the sign immediately called their state representative to voice their disapproval for gay marriage rather than just continuing on to the lake or beer store or wherever they were heading. Also, I was quite amused at the amount of Queen played on the local radio stations during our drive through Missouri. It was almost as if there was a secret group of DJ Illuminati conspiring to brainwash the state and turn everyone gay and then legalize gay marriage, because we all know that's how one becomes gay.       

Chicago was enjoyably non-racist and we moved on to Michigan where we visited with some relatives (on Wiener's side) that we have not seen in a long time. One night after dinner, an older Uncle made a few inappropriate comments about Hispanics, particularly insensitive since we have several Hispanics in our family (and obviously not cool in general), which apparently opened the door for another family member to unleash his drunken racist redneck side. I defend my right to call him a redneck, since his neck is in fact red. I won't go into the nitty-gritty details of his comments, so as to not enrage you and cause you to punch the computer screen in anger, but let's just say I was disgusted and planned on giving him a good ass reaming in private- and not the kind some people enjoy.

So long story short, or not so much, one average family's summer vacation on the great American road was polluted by assholes who think they are better than everyone else and emit the sense of self entitlement they accuse other races, creeds, and cultures of doing. And that's calling the kettle black. #notracist


Chief Black Kettle
Black Kettle was a pragmatist who believed that US
 military power and the number of immigrants were overwhelming. 

He was a peacemaker who accepted treaties to protect his people. 

Now that's a real American. 

1 comment:

  1. I just want to thank you for the laughs, because my husband and I just left Muskogee without stopping for lunch as we had planned. We thought McAlester might be better, but looked it up before trying and came upon your blog. Laughing hard because of your style, so disappointed that this crap still exists. In any case, thanks for writing this one!!

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