Thursday, February 14, 2013

Bloody Valentine

Sometimes Valentine's Day needs to FUCK OFF. And that title is not a hint about my monthly cycle, although the rage I am in could be due to estrogen build up of an impending time of the month episode.

I usually treat Valentine's Day like most others. Nothing special and I don't have any high expectations for sweeping romantic gestures or picture perfect plans. But sometimes shit just happens on Valentine's Day that makes me want to scream WHAT. THE. FUCK.

For instance a few years ago... Wait. Belay that. More like 10 years ago since Fifi wasn't born yet. I had made reservations for Wiener and I to enjoy a romantic Italian dinner then go home and open cards and have chocolate and snuggle time. When I got home from work in the late afternoon before him, I was greeted by a flood of water pouring out of the garage as I opened the door. Long story short, our water heater had overflown and was flooding water from the ceiling in the attic down to the hall and out the garage. Because who DOESN'T keep their hot water heater in the attic of a one story house so it can nearly fall through the ceiling and flood the entire house ruining every single shred of flooring and requiring its replacement? Everyone should experience this because it is such fun!

Fast forward several years later and I can't really think of any major Valentine's Day issues, but I do recall a few being just sucky in general for no particular reason. And today is no exception. I swear I didn't have any high hopes or even really care that it was Valentine's Day. Maybe the day I was born the February 14 gods were just like " for this one, every February 14 will be a shitastic day from henceforth." I did not get that memo.

So here we are today and I'm in an especially pissy mood due to some personal family stuff, which I shan't go into and whine about, but the icing on the cake is this: Transferring the kids laundry from the washer to the dryer, I come across some slimy gelatinous material which I quickly realize is the remnants of an old pull-up that must have gotten left in the hamper and thrown in the wash. Good times. NOT. So here I am spending Valentine's Day elbow deep in slimy goo that I can only hope will easily clean out of the washer and wash off the clothes, but I'm not holding my breath.

And when I'm done there, I guess I'll start slaving over the Valentine's Day dinner for my loving family who I'm sure will scarf it all down before I have nary a bite then begin demanding dessert. Ungrateful bastards.

Happy Fucking Valentine's Day, y'all!


Aw Yeah...




10 comments:

  1. Did you at least get a chocolate heart? Some flowers to go with your diaper goo?

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    1. No fucking chocolate. I got some flowers, but what I REALLY needed was wine and chocolate. What- I'm supposed to sit around smelling pretty plants all day? Mama needs to get buzzed!

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  2. I found you on "You're doing it wrong" First of all let me tell you the title of your blog is what caught my eye! I think every fucking person, besides me of course are stupid!!! I also hate Valentine's Day! Waste of a normal day! BULLSHIT I tell ya. LOL..
    I'm glad I found you.. your writing is right up my alley!

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    1. Hi Ellen- I'm obviously SO far behind on my replies! I'm so glad you found me through "You're Doing it Wrong." I hope you keep reading although I'm sporadic- and I rage and bitch a lot! ;)

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  3. Hey there follow this link to an award for you!

    -Ellen

    http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/2013/02/am-i-inspiring.html

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    1. Thank you Ellen! I really really appreciate it!

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  4. Got another award for you!

    http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/2013/02/liebster-award-winner.html

    Thanks
    Ellen

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    1. Hi Ellen- thanks for this! I am so far behind in blogging! Thank you- I really appreciate it and will get around to doing the post for it soon!

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  5. THought I'd wait a week for you to calm down...very funny post. I hate VD as well.

    BTW, everyone isn't stupid, but I Used to be Stupid!

    cranky old man

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    1. I don't think I ever calm down ;)I hate VD too. Thanks for the comment!

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