Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Poop Rage

So I must have eaten five times my weight in turkey with trimmings this Thanksgiving because I can't seem to get out of the bathroom. Gross, huh! Not that I have an upset stomach, it's the regular type of number two, just a lot of it. TMI?

Lest you think I'm only good for complaining about political hi-jinks, I felt it necessary to share some non political fodder.  

When not raging, I strive to find humor in everyday life. Kids are especially good at saying ridiculous things that are easy to make fun of. Just be sure to do it behind their backs (or on an anonymous public blog for all the world to see) to save them from embarrassment.

Here are some recent musings:

While out with Fifi, we passed a big dude on a Harley whose bike was adorned with metal rivets. It was very bad ass. Fifi said "omgosh his motorcycle is bedazzled." Thank God the windows were up.

The other day I was driving with Devil Baby when she asked me something that I swear was "let's go to the liquor store."  Turns out she wanted me to sing twinkle twinkle little star.  I was quite disappointed. 

Fifi announced the other day that a girl should always be cuter than their husband or boyfriend so he'll never leave HER. She also said "a boyfriend that has a sense of humor and can make you laugh- now that's the killer." And that she hates "clingy boys." Jeez. Where does she get these things? I feel sorry for the poor bastard that marries her already.

Devil Baby is very into poop and butt humor these days. She likes to call people "poo poo booty face." She also likes to threaten to "I fawt on you!" Totally hilarious. I don't know where she gets her potty mouth.

Poor kid. Must have gone potty after I was in there-
hence the noxious fumes.

Also my dear, sweet, aging cat decide to take a ginormous dump on one of our formal dining chairs the day before Thanksgiving. I was worried she might be getting sick or have a terminal illness as this has never happened before. But since it was a one time thing, I decided she must be jealous of all the time I have been spending in the bathroom. Either that or she was staking her claim to her place at the dinner table, because no one wants to sit in that chair now no matter how many times it has been scrubbed with harsh abrasive chemicals.

Well played evil cat, well played.

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