Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Aw, You Shouldn't Have...

It's been a few weeks, but I was nominated by Tracy over at Momaical for two blogger awards. Better late than never, unless it's your period and your boyfriend told you he had a vasectomy. I'm still not sure if they are deserved or if she added me to her list in some drunken typographic error. I mean, my posts are more snarky than sunshine-y and if by versatile you mean I can use the work fuck in a plethora of combinations to keep it fresh, then that's cool.

S is for Sassy.
V is for Vagina

But I am truly honored and appreciative of her to include me in one of her posts and to actually nominate me. She is the first blogger whom I don't know in person that started to follow my blog and she is great about posting comments.

So, along with these awards you must perform certain rituals or rites of passage. Or, as I like to call them, homework. I never did my homework in school, so why should I start now? Christ these questions are nosy.

The Sunshine Award asks the following questions: 

1.) What would you most like to change about yourself? Nothing. I'm fucking awesome. Wow, that was narcissistic. Um, let's see... I'd change my innards so that I wasn't so gassy all the time.       

2.) What is your theme song? Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind.
3.) One part of your life, a memory, action, etc. that you wish you could surgically remove from your brain? I can't remember. I have mom-nesia.

4.) What generation do you wish you’d been a part of? I'm not sure. I like the allure of the hippie-esque 60's era and I'm also intrigued by history, so living in 1800-1900's Europe might be cool. But I like modern creature comforts, so I think I'll stay where I am and enjoy my ac and chilled Moscato.     

5.) What was your favorite childhood toy? GI Joe. Because I liked taking them away from my little brother.      

6.) What is your favorite household chore? Seriously? How about this- the one I detest the least is loading the dishwasher. I like organizing items to fit as much in as possible. But make no mistake, my house isnot organized.     

7.) Do you twitter? I have an account and sometimes surf peoples twits, or tweets, or twats, or whatever the young kids are calling them these days. I've yet to send one out there. I'm still trying to figure out how to load a profile piture.    

8.) Any goals? To finish these questions.

9.) Do you really drink margaritas all the time? No, I like to mix it up. Wine, good. Vodka, good. Rum, good.      

10.) What’s the ugliest car you’ve ever driven? I don't think any of them were ugly per say. The most interesting one was a mid-1980's baby blue Renault Alliance. I took French in high school and thought having a French car was the shit.

The Versatile Blogger asks you for 7 random facts about yourself.  I'm not sure you want to know these things. It is a very risky thing asking a smart ass like me.

1. I love dark chocolate.

2. If my house was on fire, the order of who to save would be Devil Baby, Fifi, Cat Holly, Cat Pumpkin, then Husband Wiener. Poor Wiener.

3. I was born with a hole in my heart. No, that's not the first line to the country song I wrote. It's for real. I didn't need surgery and it closed on its own.  

4. One of my legs is longer than the other. Or one leg is shorter. I guess it's one of those glass half empty kinds of things. I wear a heel lift in one shoe to raise the affected side to the proper height.

5. Do I really have to do seven? I'm bored with myself already. I make jokes and laugh at inappropriate times, like during funerals or when people are crying about their divorces.

6. I hate flying. Despite the statistics, I still say it's a 50/50 chance you'll live. Either the plane will crash or it won't. See how that works?

7. I like to eat ketchup on my scrambled eggs. I'm out of random facts, so this will have to do.

So now I'm supposed to nominate some other blogs. It didn't say how many, so I'll go with five. Also, it didn't say if they should be new blogs or ones that have been around a while, so I hope I don't look like an idiot nominating some long time blogger who has already received these awards. 

Imogen, Undiluted- Like Bridget Jones but funnier and much better looking.

The Bitchy Truth- I love bitchiness.

Ruthless Raquel- An amateur comedian in her head. And snarky to boot.

The Defensive Firearm Diaries- I'm a Pacifist, but I'm scared not to nominate her.

Jeez. I'm stuck at four. Apparently I read a lot of more well known blogs than newer ones, so nominating them would be pointless. I guess this means I need to get off my lazy ass and find some fresh bloggers to mingle with. But these four are people I truly enjoy reading and feel honestly are deserving of a shout out.

Thank you and good night!


  1. Thanks STS!
    Also your leg is not shorter/longer than the other! Jeez!

    1. My pleasure and uh huh! That's the one ailment I didn't make up.